Supporting Someone with Chronic Pain
Asking for & receiving care can be complicated! This month’s zine, written by full spectrum doula Martha Hoffman, is for people who have chronic pain and want some ideas around how to ask for support—but it’s also for people who want to be a better support person for the people in their life who have chronic pain.
From the zine:
People have pain for a bunch of different reasons, and everyone has different needs around pain & receiving care. If someone in your life has chronic pain, consider asking them these questions:
“Do you want to brainstorm long term care for together?”
“Do you have any triggers I can be more aware of?” ie: I won’t cook you things with cheese, I won’t keep you up late because I know lack of sleep is a trigger, etc.
“Do you want a support person with you during healthcare visits?” ie: taking notes, remembering questions to ask, advocating for more time / space, etc.
People who have chronic pain could consider making a care plan in advance (it can be hard to remember simple things when in pain!). It can as simple or complex as you want. Here’s an example:
My immediate symptom care needs:
________ (ie: miso soup)
________ (ie: 15 minute foot rub)
________ (ie: ask X to come check on me in an hour)
You could also include things that aren’t helpful, how you want to be spoken to, what good care looks / feels like for you in general, or anything else that might be helpful to communicate.
Other ways to support yourself (or those you love!):
Somatic support is a big umbrella term for lots of different modalities, trainings, ways of working with the body. The tools I use in my practice are called TRE (tension / trauma release exercises) and Somatic Experiencing. These practices offer a way to listen to the stories our bodies have to tell (which are sometimes different than the stories our logical thinking brains want to tell!). We can learn to speak the language of the nervous system and befriend the body a little more (instead of fighting against it) with somatic support.