Recharge, process, connect
When a Canadian doula collective commissioned me to make this month’s zine I wasn’t exactly sure how I would structure it. I knew there were some very simple (but profound!) ideas I wanted to share for how to take of oneself after an abortion, ideas that i’ve shared with clients many many times, but I hadn’t actually written it down like this before.
What emerged were four categories of care: recharge, process, connect, and meaning.
Recharging has to do with the physical body—staying hydrated, resting, eating nourishing foods (a lot of the same things you’d do if you were sick or taking care of a sick friend).
Processing has to do with integrating the physical body & the thinking brain—talking with a friend, going to therapy, dancing, singing, making art, crying, laughing, and continuing to make space for feelings whenever they arrive.
Connecting has to do with the nervous system and our sense of safety—finding people, places, animals, etc. that (re)connect us to each other and the world around us and help us to find whatever relative safety is available.
And meaning making has to with ritual, ceremony, and letting the meaning of the experience arrive when it arrives—something we can’t force, but can create containers & structures for when we’re ready.
Of course there is overlap in all of these categories, but if I was going to give someone advice about taking good care of their full self after an abortion I’d hope that they’d be able to find the time & space for each category (or better yet, delegate friends & family to help them with each category!).
And even with a good plan in place, sometimes we need a guide on the journey, someone to hold space while we sort things out or act as a sounding board.
That’s where doula support and / or somatic support comes in!
If it feels too overwhelming to take care of yourself in these ways on your own, I’d be honored to be part of your care team—through an abortion, or through any other transitional life moment (births, deaths, and all the beginnings & endings in between).